Hanging by a Cord: Bloukrans and the Rush of Letting Go

Never in my life did I anticipate standing on the edge of a bridge high above the jungles of South Africa - but there I was, peering down from one of the highest bungee jumps in the world.

My knees buckled, a light sweat broke out despite the cool air, and my nerves unraveled as my turn crept closer. I watched as each of my friend stepped up in their harnesses, ready to leap, the air filled with the staff's echoing countdowns - 'Three, Two, One, BUNGEE!'

One by one, they disappeared over the edge, swept up in pure thrill - each jump marked by a scream, a shout, or stunned silence.

Finally, it was my turn - and the anticipation had completely consumed me. As I waddled toward the edge with the staff's help, I genuinely wondered if my legs would hold up. Every instinct screamed at me to turn and run. Each shaky step forward felt like a battle between my mind and body, forcing myself closer to something that, for all my brain could process, might kill me. It was real, raw fear - primal and electric.

I felt a staff member's hand press gently against my back - and then the countdown began. My breathing turned shallow, and my face flushed with heat.

"THREE!"

My knees trembled, threatening to give out beneath me.

"TWO!"

My mind spiraled with what-ifs, every fear flooding in all at once . I thought I might pass out.

"ONE!"

Silence. Everything stopped - no more noise, no more worry. My feet were no longer touching the bridge. I don't even know if I screamed as I jumped - my body had taken over, acting on pure impulse. it was instinct, or more of reverse instinct - every part of me wanted to survive, to hold back but instead, i jumped. I let go. My body moved not out of safety, but in defiance of it.

For a moment, in that terrifying drop, I was completely free.

The world flipped upside down as the trees rushed up to meet me. At some point, I reached the end of the bungee, but I felt nothing - no harsh pull, no sudden jolt. I wasn't even sure if I was still falling. I felt completely weightless, suspended in the vast space between fear and euphoria. In that wild, swinging silence, I realized - I had never felt more alive.

On the way back up - strapped to one of the staff members who had rappelled down to collect me - I couldn't stop smiling. I was buzzing with adrenaline, completely wired. I felt new, like i'd shed something on that fall and left it behind at the bottom of the gorge.

The feeling stuck with me - and it's still with me today. A deep, conquering sense of triumph. for the first time in a long time, I felt brave. and in that same breath, I felt humbled - by the height, by what it means to let go.